Single Again

Sometimes Love is the Suppressor of Truth by Lucy Connor Truth, it seems, can sometimes be in the eyes of the beholder. Think about it. There are certain “truths” I live by that others would not claim as truth at all. For example, I happen to believe that one of the great truths in life is that spending the day teaching 200 middle school students is a pretty fabulous way to make a living. How many of you agree with that? Though this may seem a rather flippant way to look at this topic, I am hoping it will prove a point. There are very few truths that are absolute and universal, maybe only one or two. We were given a couple directions in the New Testament that qualify as universal truths. Love others as God has loved us and love our neighbors as ourselves. Even for people who do not believe in God, the ideas of unconditional love toward others (as God loves us) and of treating others as we would like to be treated must ring a bell as life truths. This is the way we should all...

Stumbling in the Dark AND Just Getting Old by Lucy Connor I never thought I would actually be fifty four, let alone fifty four and single. I have been known to tell my co-workers that by the time my father was this age, he had been dead for four years. Since my dad died at such a tender age, I feel blessed to still be here and kicking! He was so young in every way and when I lost him as a freshman in college, I just knew that I would die young as well. So far, as luck and apparently my mom’s genes would have it, I am still here…whew. I married at the tender age of 23 and immediately got pregnant. My husband was six years older than me and we wanted a house full of kids so I figured we had better get cracking. Six years and four kids later we stopped the baby production and settled into the enviable position of being completely broke, in debt past our eyeballs but completely in love with each other and with our kids. Time rolled on and I went back to work. The debt was still pret...

Is Anyone Out There Right for Me? by: Lucy Connor This has “been a week”! There has been little time to write, but somehow I have managed to do quite a bit of thinking. I have mentioned before that I love to listen to the Oprah station on the satellite radio in my car. This week she did a couple of interesting shows, but one thing she said over and over, stuck in my head. “Love does not hurt.” Wow. Just let that one sink in. As strange as it seems, this statement goes contrary to what I have believed my entire life. I figured love was kind of like the refiner’s fire. No one who has love in his or her life does it without pain…lots of it. It is all part of the process of loving. You love, you fight you hurt. You love you ignore, you hurt. You love you complain, you hurt. You love you are selfish, you hurt.  This thought of love being like a warm and comforting cocoon, a safe place, was actually rather foreign to me. Let me clarify all this by saying that I was in a marr...

Hello Again by Lucy Connor Hello again.   In the moments just…before                                           the world comes crashing back here you are invading my dreams….          coming back to me      in ways I never imagined you step into the privacy of my bedroom and brush your lips so tenderly  across mine                I feel your heart pounding in my chest my twin flame                     the one I knew I would never find           before my light went o...

An Exposed Heart from Beginning to End by Lucy Connor Mature Dating, Fun or Frightening? When I try to figure out exactly what “mature dating” is, I giggle. I have been “dating” for almost 6 years after a marriage of 27 years came to it’s eventual slow and painful death. I must say that most of the dating I have done has been anything but mature. I am not really sure what it was that I expected, but I am pretty sure it was not what I experienced! As a newly single woman, separated and waiting for the divorce to become final, I threw caution to the wind and decided that I would get out there and find the man of my dreams. Almost immediately I started looking and my eyes were most certainly opened up to the realities of middle aged dating. Forgive me if I expound on a couple of them. First of all, it is very difficult to meet older single men if you work all day and do not care to go to bars, restaurants, concerts etc. alone. These days, the internet is a place many middle a...

My Knight’s Surrender By Lucy Connor I stand on the hill. Independent, alone, free. The wind blows through my hair, the rains come and go. The sun burns and the cold bites at my fingers and face. Still I wait. I cannot move lest he will not find me. For years I have stood as a sentry at my post. Stoic, unfeeling, unchanging on the outside while on the inside, my heart cries for the love I have waited for. I watch in silence as he battles his demons. I pray that he can navigate his fallen dreams and his broken heart. I know that if he can, he will finally come to me. I will myself to stay even when it is painful for me to watch. Closer and closer he comes. I call his name to the wind, pleading with him to keep going. Over lifetimes and ages, we have loved and we are destined to continue that love throughout time. “I am here, come to me.” The wind whispers in my ears….screams in my ears….”He is not yours…can you not hear her call? Can you not see the look in his eye?” ...

What I learned about love from my gay, married “boyfriends” by Lucy Connor A couple weeks ago I was standing in the world trade center subway station with one of my boyfriends. He stopped and got really quiet before he told me, “The last time I was here was the morning of 911….this was my stop.” For a second, the world stood still and everything in my body ached for him because this was a moment of raw, bleeding pain….and he loved me enough to share it with me. A week before, the two of us had been sitting on a bench at the far end of the field behind their Vermont farm-house. We sat with the dogs, watching the sun set and talking about life and love. Daniel told me his story that night. Throughout the weekend, pieces of their love story had been unravelling as they spun the tale. We laughed as they gave me the details of how they met and how long it took them to move from friends to boyfriends. I watched their eyes when they talked about romantic dates they had been on. On ...